Shrink says rash caused by ulcer meds making Trileptal does flop around.  Last dose last night so should not be prob any more.  Steroid cream has made it stop beign a total PITA by now anyway.

Thanks but I do not take lamictal/lamotrigine. if yousearch for lamictal on this blog you’ll see why. I didn’t give me a rash. It gave me about 25 other side effects though.

By the way, as a PSA:  Lamictal/lamotrigine is just one of the anticonvulsants that can cause serious or fatal rashes. All of that class of drugs can. Lamictal has just gotten the most press about it.

Starting Abilify in the morning. Had problem (or panic attack?) when started at regular dose years ago. Trying now at 1/4 the regular starting dose. Wish me luck.

I have to turn down an invitation to a friends house in next state over to go to a party and a concert because I already have my full load of upheaval of my schedule filled up for October. That SHITS.  I am TIRED of working my tail off to manage bipolar when the meds dont’ work or make me sick.  I’m just plain angry and frustrated and depressed about the whole mess.

Hell, it’ll pass. It always does. The worst curse of bipolar is its best blessing: nothing ever stays the same.

I’ll be back in a week or so to say Ability turned me purple and made me cluck like a chicken no doubt. For now, I don’t feel much like talking about it on a daily bassis. *hugs to my friends* thanks for understanding

Trigger Warning

I’m feeling better, so back to pondering. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be able to ponder today. Just imagine it, ok?

I have some issues with diagnoses. Cutting or other self injury (SI) is one diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Along with repeated suicide attempts.
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RANT WARNING
Other stuff after the sorta foul-mouthed rant, but hey, a rant is a rant.

Immi is cranky. Immi is sick to death of customers. Immi is especially sick to death of stupid customers who send stupid emails.

I just need to be able to do very simple searches to view all that you have for sale, click a button to add to cart, and then go to checkout.

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I actually wrote this on July 7th. Back before I quit the group I mention in it. The thing I wonder is why I put up with so much for so long. Must be a mental problem

Dear Assholes (Collectively),

There are many good people around in this group, but also abusive, mean-spirited people taking advantage of the good ones. If you’re honest with yourself, you know whether you’re a good person who tries but may make mistakes at times, or an abusive asshole. But being as you’re assholes, you’re probably not honest with yourself either. Nonetheless…

You have perpetuated this type of garbage on this group for the last two years, which the the volunteers in this group have had to deal with on a ongoing basis. Most of this garbage is because different volunteers were trying to help someone out, and that is infuriating.

Yes, garbage. Embarassing, nasty garbage like this:

- Starting hanging out with the group only when they need money that the group would raise.
- Insisting that raised funds be sent directly in cash (yes, US treasury notes called dollars) to the
person instead of directly sent to the doctor providing the care.
- Refusing free air transportation for their seriously ill pet to get to a veterinarian to get free life-saving surgery plus free fostering until the kitty is well enough to return home, all because the indivdual could not get from the group a free airline ticket and reimbursement of time lost from work to travel with the pet, then the same individual still wanted donations to pay large veterinary fees because of refusing this overwhelmingly generous offer.
- When people generously donated, the recipient contacting the donors repeatedly to send more money.
- Expecting people from the group to risk their own homes in order for the people to help them instead.
- Begging for and taking money and time from people who are far worse off than the people demanding the donations.
- Fundraising recipients insisting that they get X amount of money, including extra money to pay for
extras, which no one had even heard about until after the fundraising was done.
- Niggling at people over and over again to give money for doctor bills, vet bills, rent, etc etc, even when they’ve receive hundred or thousands of dollars of financial help as gifts, in one case over $20,000 from one unbelievably generous donor, and all this when they are posting or emailing that they are buying expensive luxury items weekly like multiple DVD players, blackberries, and whatnot.
- Trying to guilt people into donating more at auctions by making up pity stories about the items being
auctioned.
- Threatening to kill themselves and their pets if people don’t give them money or otherwise do what the individual wants.
- Fundraising recipients who are being given hundreds of dollars a week over a few weeks getting upset because the volunteers are stopping doing fundraising for them.
- Contacting the volunteers and insisting that they do a fundraiser immediately because they need
money immediately.
- Begging people from the group to take that person’s pets to save them, then when it’s arranged or a few days after volunteers have been working furiously to make it happen, out of the blue they back out. So far this has happened 3 times that I know of.
- Telling members of the group that the person doing the telling had been blackballed from the group when no such thing had been done or even discussed.
- Helpers spreading confidential information around even when they’ve promised to keep it confidential.
- Cajoling, hinting, then insisting to group volunteers that they must raise funds and pay for luxury items that aren’t necessary for the health or welfare of anyone, to the tune of thousands of dollars, over 10 to 50 emails to a volunteer or volunteers.
- After a volunteer had created a website from scratch, the lady the site was made for telling the volunteer that they don’t want her to help with their website, they want someone good to do
it instead.
- Arguments and blame over what news got posted on the news site “in favor” of others because we put up the first news about a happening, and don’t choose to post the same news 5 times just because 5 people send it in back to back.
- Being attention seeking, dishonest, argumentative, passive-aggressive, backbiting, ad nauseum when dealing with the volunteers and other members of the group.
- Assuming and telling others that this volunteer group would be raising lots of money for them on a weekly basis and directing others to the group because we’d raise funds for them.
- Whining and groaning that they can’t do it –such as organizing parties for a friend or making cards — and so insisting rudely that the volunteers must do it for them.
- Running around behind a volunteer’s back and saying the volunteer was talking about them behind their back, which was ironic at best.
- Harping on volunteers about how other volunteers are bad or otherwise unsavory.
- Accusing and saying that various volunteers did things they didn’t do.
- Saying at parties that the someone is dead, when when they are not.
- Refusing to even attempt learn the technology necessary to do what they want to do online, and then being pissy and self-pitying and insisting that folks from the group do their personal work for them immediately. Not asking, insisting.
- Death threats against a person’s pets over some imagined “take over” thing that has neither occurred nor been planned.
- And so on.

EXCUSE ME? Do you not see the problem, people???? The group has been trying to be
helpful and giving and this kind of crap is is given back to them? For two years? It’s amazing that any of the volunteers put up with it that long.

If one of the above shoes fits you, wear it and live with it. Don’t bug me or anyone else in the group with your mewling self pity. I don’t care if you are so stupid that you can’t see that asking for thousands and thousands of dollars for trash that’s not needed when you can afford diamonds and luxury vacuums and cd players etc, or otherwise take advantage of people trying to help is not a good thing to do. I am not interested in apologies, or whining or self-pity. I doubt anyone else is either.

As someone said in a comment on the news site, “GROW UP!” There are natural consequences to everything anyone does, and we all have to live with that. The natural consequences of behaving ungratefully, thoughtlessly, greedily, and cruelly are that people don’t want to deal with you any more, and they sure won’t continue to help you. They may pity you, but they don’t want to deal with your garbage, demands, self-pity, or your company any more.

I’ve had it with you, and so have others. Every one of you abusive assholes. Go to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. You’ve already gotten far more than $200 worth of time, effort, and in some cases cash. You no longer rate anything at all.

Sincerely,
A Schmuck Who Won’t Be Taken for a Ride Again

Finito

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

Of course, we can help evil along a good bit by being backbiting, jumping to conclusions, treating people meanly, being drama queens, and so on.

I seem to be addicted to so much of that. Trying to do good for myself and others. Failing miserably and making more pain. I am only human, though I hate to look that in the face. The only way for me to stop, at this point, is to stop participating. I’m not strong or whatever it takes enough so far to find any other way. I hope one day I am. I’m striving for that, at any rate. In the meanwhile, I’ve quit the group I was “managing” or being the whipping boy of, which is how it felt to me for over a year. A year of trying and being miserable is enough. I wonder if I shouldn’t let make myself miserable over things for so long. But with that one, water is under the bridge of time, and no use worrying about it. I’ll try not to.

Yeah. I’m afraid I’m beyond my tolerance with the thing though. Actually, I know I have been for some time. Now I’m just wondering when I’ll stop abusing myself with it.Can I post this jpg? [JPG was attached reading: Abused Group Seeking New Home] Can I? Can I huh?

Nah, apparently I won’t stop abusing myself with it yet.

But creating the graphic gave me a laugh as well as a cry.

Never did like groups. What am I doing with this one?

Wah wah. Welcome to my pity party. Thumb-sucking and garment rending optional.

Groups are often a comedy of errors in many acts. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and all that. I think I’ll go rend my garments with this chick. hehe

If the moniker fits… wear it. Mzxyzptlk “possesses nigh-limitless reality-bending powers” Yeah, that’s me. Of course, I’m so far from the rest of the world’s reality that I’m not sure I’d recognize it if it bit me on the ass. In fact, I’ve bent reality to the point I wonder if I even visit it regularly.

For instance, I simply don’t get English. I am pretty sure that I don’t speak the same one the people around me do. I must have bent reality just enough that I speak the words in English and use commonplace gestures, but can’t be understood effectively, and vice versa.

I point to a specific object and say, “That’s ok to freeze,” and we go on to have a 3 minute discussion of just why it’s ok to freeze and how to prepare it for freezing. So another object nearby that’s somewhat alike is also ok to freeze? WTF? Shit. I didn’t know I had to label every single thing in the universe so people could tell what I was talking about. I didn’t realize that if I don’t do that, people will make assumptions that to me are weird.

What reality are they in? What reality am I in? Are those realities even loosely tied together? Permit me to doubt.