but she’s standing at the edge of the ring and looking over the ropes into the abyss. Talk about a shit happening day. Woke up having flashbacks. Then got fucked over by my credit card processor. Then by my shopping cart service. Then by a friend so sick that even though she didn’t mean to [...]

Tags: c-ptsd, depression

… if this new meds regimen will work. Shit is freaking me out all over and I feel really hopeless. Maybe I’m just too nuts for anything to work without making me into a shaking zombie. *sigh* HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP

Tags: depression, meds, mental illness

I’m tired … of being taken for granted … of being treated like I have no value except in what I can do for you … of worrying about it all … of even bothering any more heh maybe the anti-depressants aren’t really helping all that much. Currently Playing: Law and Order: SVU in the background

Tags: bipolar, depression

I’m having one of those days. Forgot my am meds and that’s thrown me. At least I can keep telling myself that I’ll feel better tomorrow and be reasonably certain it’s so. < whispers > bipolarsuxbipolarsuxbipolarsux < / whispers > I always hate people who only contact me to Tell me what to do Tell [...]

Tags: bipolar, depression, meds

Well, that lasted a few hours. How do I find a way to be gentle with myself for fucking my own life up so much? “Well hey girl, it’s understandable. You didn’t need that life anyway.” Ugh. Nightmare about t.m. woke me up three hours early. Bloody red nightmare. Yeah, I dream in color and this one [...]

Tags: bipolar, depression

I found this entry in a journal of mine from 2002 Fighting depression is a lot like trying to strangle molasses. The enemy just slips through your grip and sticks to your fingers and still refuses to be strangled. Anxiety is just as exciting a strangulation challenge. It’s like choking a prickly cactus with your bare hands. [...]

Tags: anxiety, depression