… what it’s like to live without omnipresent depression. Most of the past few months I haven’t had a truly horrible black dog biting me, only occasionally. More like a little gray dog yapping at me and nibbling at my achilles tendon. Mild depression, except when getting manic, has been the rule, not [...]Tags: bipolar disorder, depression, feeling ok, good thangs, meds

I stumbled on a Teen Suicide help blog. I almost became a teen suicide statistic. Three times. In the end, I wanted to live more than I wanted to escape, I guess. Looking at it, and all teen suicide statistics and whatnot made me realize today that I fit more than the usual [...]Tags: depression

but she’s standing at the edge of the ring and looking over the ropes into the abyss. Talk about a shit happening day. Woke up having flashbacks. Then got fucked over by my credit card processor. Then by my shopping cart service. Then by a friend so sick that even though she didn’t mean to [...]Tags: c-ptsd, depression

… if this new meds regimen will work. Shit is freaking me out all over and I feel really hopeless. Maybe I’m just too nuts for anything to work without making me into a shaking zombie. *sigh* HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP a2a_linkname="i wonder"; a2a_linkurl="http://migrainechow.com/2008/02/22/i-wonder/"; Babbled by [...]Tags: depression, meds, mental illness

I’m tired … of being taken for granted … of being treated like I have no value except in what I can do for you … of worrying about it all … of even bothering any more heh maybe the anti-depressants aren’t really helping all that much. Currently Playing: Law and Order: SVU in the background [...]Tags: bipolar, depression

I’m having one of those days. Forgot my am meds and that’s thrown me. At least I can keep telling myself that I’ll feel better tomorrow and be reasonably certain it’s so. < whispers > bipolarsuxbipolarsuxbipolarsux < / whispers > I always hate people who only contact me to Tell me what to do Tell [...]Tags: bipolar, depression, meds

Well, that lasted a few hours. How do I find a way to be gentle with myself for fucking my own life up so much? “Well hey girl, it’s understandable. You didn’t need that life anyway.” Ugh. Nightmare about t.m. woke me up three hours early. Bloody red nightmare. Yeah, I dream in color and this one [...]Tags: bipolar, depression