Posts Tagged “DBT”

I had DBT group skills class yesterday, neckbrace, kneebrace and all. And yes, I told everyone what happened, in brief, so they wouldn’t sit on pins and needles wondering. No problem.

About halfway through the skills class, one of the leaders was giving examples of everyday things that it’s normal to feel one way or another about.  ”You know, it’s perfectly normal to get pissed off at some guy who cuts you off when you’re driving.”

 She looked at me all geared up with braces and turned about 14 shades of red and said, “Oh I am SO sorry. I didn’t mean you. Or anything about you.”

I was just laughing about it, and told her it was ok.  It really was funny as all get out to use for an example just then. She blushes awesomely too. hehehe


Babbled by Immi.


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You know, I often gabble about problems without making any mention of successes with them.  I tend to miss the successes mainly because I’m uncomfortable with praise internal or external and also successes don’t need fixing. But I’m actually proud of myself today for the way I handled a tough situation yesterday, and begone to any mental dust thrown up to tell me otherwise.  

I briefly mentioned hallucinating yesterday in my earlier post. My therapist and doctor both believe this is due to the slew of bronchitis meds on top of my regular cocktail of bipolar drugs.  Whatever caused it, I did hallucinate, and it scared the bejeezus out of me because I was behind the wheel of my car at the time. That’s never happened to me before. I handled it well, got home safe, no one got hurt, I’ve made arrangements to not drive until I’m off all these crazy-making sterioids and such, informed my support folks, made arrangements for someone to help with my business if needed, and I am proud of all that. I done good.

The biggest thing I’m proud of, though, is that my DBT skills held, even in the face of hallucinations.  OMG, is that something to be proud of or what?  Amen sistah, it sure is!

I was pacing around the front yard while waiting for my friend to take me to the therapist and doctor. I was getting out some of the anger energy about having to deal with that crap, and what went through my head?  Not the eternally repeating  worn out record of self-abuse that I’ve been so good at for so long. Instead, my self-talk went like this… I’m scared and angry about all this and I know I’ll be ok. It won’t do me in or ruin my life. I handled it well, and that is wonderful to be able to do when the brain is obviously kicking up some weird dust here.  I must look crazy as a loon pacing in a circle in the front yard with a cane. That’s ok even if that’s so. I need to walk out some of  these feelings instead of bottling it up, and I look however I look. I’ll never be able to drive again!  Nope, chicky. I’ll be able to drive again once this stuff gets straightened out and it will get straightened out. Yes, it feels freaky frightening and scary and sad and hopeless and shameful, but  it’s ok to feel that way. The feeling won’t last forever. It is darned well normal to feel frightened and all those things when you’ve been hallucinating while driving.  You got home safe, no one got hurt, and you’ve handled it fantastic, babe. You did really well with a cruddy situation. You go girl! Dialectics and positive self-talk and mindfulness, amazing and wonderful.

So even when things are crap, there are still things to feel proud of myself for, and I can handle life well.  What a new concept for me.  Yay for me!


Babbled by Immi.


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If something can be blown out of proportion to the magnitude of a catastrophe, most of us can do.  Some of us are “better” at it than others. Nevermind that it’s not useful and makes us feel incredibly anxious, some of us get in the habit. Perhaps we should take up another habit instead.

Today’s a good catastrophizing day for me.  September 11th is always good for that.  All the remembrances, all the tributes.  Well-meant, and kind to the families of the fallen in some ways.  But all the “Do you remember what you were doing?” stuff brings back all those feelings. Yeah, I remember what I was doing. I remember exactly how it felt. I’m not likely to forget. The feelings aren’t very useful to me at this point, but they come back and make me want to run away from the terrorists that are surely coming from me personally.  Catastrophizing at its best, just another excuse for my PTSD to go bananas.

Add to that Hurricane Ike.  I’m not there, but the only friend from middle school I’m still in touch with lives there.  And one of my best friends of modern times lives there.  Ack eek eek!  The world is ending, my past and present are going to go down in a rush of cold water and crazed winds!  More catastrophizing.

Sigh.  Grab those DBT distress tolerance skills and a big bucket of mindfulness. Let the catastrophizing go. Breathe.  Thus I tell myself.  Amazingly enough, it’s working. Slower than I’d like, but it’s working.


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Wandering Coyote left a comment on my last post that was I really resonated with.

I do agree with what you’re saying in this post, but I also believe that it’s important to know where the line between a label and a diagnosis is, because there is a difference. I think it’s totally unfortunate that someone diagnosed you with BPD after 12 minutes. No diagnosis should take place without a complete history being done over more than one session. I’m glad you got DBT, though; so many of my American neighbours either don’t have access or cannot afford the therapy.

Yes, there is a difference between a label and a diagnosis, but I’d never really thought about it before. I realized that I was feeling labeled at times and diagnosed at others. A 12-minute “diagnosis” with no history taken except to know I’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder sure felt like a label. Might have been 10 minutes, might have been 15, but neither works for making an accurate diagnosis of anyone when you don’t have any history at all.

A lightbulb come on about the complete history done over more than one session. The only mental healthcare folks who did that are the psychiatrist who diagnosed me as bipolar and the therapist who diagnosed me with C-PTSD. Over the 30+ years I’ve been in and out of mental healthcare only two out of many actually got to know me before diagnosing me. All of the others gave a diagnosis after one session at the most, and with no history except what I was able to impart within that hour. One even gave me a “label” and didn’t amend it even though I started having psychotic features and told her. Luckily for me, someone finally took the time to get a complete history.

I do feel lucky about that.  With a diagnosis that fits instead of labels of things that don’t really fit, this last 18 months I’m finally starting to get help that really helps. Meds for the biological stuff, DBT group for improving life in general, and individual trauma therapy for safely trying to let go of that mess as much as humanly possible.  And yes, WC, I am very lucky it’s both available and affordable.

On another lucky note, the Lamictal is making my life more interesting than usual.  I went up to 100mg last week and now I’m uncoordinated/unbalanced when I move, lightheaded and dizzy.    I can’t drive lest I were to pass out at the wheel.  I can walk, but only like a 3-legged duck waddling with the cane M loaned me. It’s a little annoying. My family and friends wonder why it doesn’t upset me.  Because it’s doing something!  All the meds that have turned out to be helpful have had weird effects when I started them or had the dose increased. The ones that had no strange effects ended up with having no effects at all in the long run either. So waddling and feeling lightheaded are good signs to me.  So I’m lucky to be waddling and lightheaded, yes I am.

I’m lucky to have a ride to the therapist today too. :)


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“We're all crazy and the only difference between patients and their therapists is the therapists haven't been caught yet.” ~~Max Walker
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