Posts Tagged “damn good thang”

I have proclaimed myself the lemonade queen. Life keeps throwing lemons at me, and well hey, at least I don’t drown in lemon juice.  I bobble in it at depressive times or run out of sugar to make lemonade for the moment, and periodically suck some up my nose and gag. Sometimes my brain fills up with chemical lemons generated by this nutty bipolar disorder. Sometimes I trudge through soggly leftover lemons from a past full of ptsd-generating mess. But the lemons don’t do me in, somehow, and I keep working to make lemonade out of it. So heh I proclaim myself Lemonade Queen or as it be, the L’Immi-nade Queen. Thus, I have added lemons to my cute little header image. I’m not sure the quote will stay. We’ll see. But the lemons will.

My homework for my therapist — should I choose to accept it, of course — is to take time every day to consider the positive.  I can count my blessings, ponder on something good, whatever.

So today I laugh at lemons. Oh hell it can be a mess. Life is messy and mine is messier than most. But it is a damned good thang that I keep surviving the lemons, always have, and I know on some deep level that I always will.  Definitely positive lemonade fodder.

Thus concludes my lemonade lesson for today. Don’t forget to put your paper cup in the recyclables thankyouverymuch.

                                                                     Now where’d I put my L’Immi-nade crown???


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We made history. It’s about time an African American could be elected President. Beyond time. I’m thrilled to see it happen.  And yes, I voted for Obama. No, I’m not African American.  I was excited when we here in Virginia elected the first African American governor. I didn’t even like him or what he stood for particularly, but I liked that we broke the race barrier for a governor.  Tonight I’m tickled to pieces because not only has another race barrier been broken, but I agree with more of what he stands for than what McCain stood for. Next we can go for breaking the gender barrier.  As long as she doesn’t have PMDD. THAT would be frightening LOL There have been so many times in the last few years that I’ve been embarassed to be an American. Think Guantanamo Bay as a symbol of freedom. *snort* Tonight I’m proud we’ve gotten this far. For now, this year, this is enough.



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we do not want a virus like this
When you’re busy coping with bipolar disorder or some other mental illness, having to deal with bs like computer viruses is something you just don’t want to be bothered with.  Dealing with meds side effects, depression or mania symptoms, and such is more than enough. 

Sometimes we’re not feeling sure about a file or a program even after we’ve run our own anti-virus on it. So here’s a free resource you can use to double check ta file. It’s especially handy to check before installing anything you’ve downloaded from the web. http://scanner.novirusthanks.org/

Also, if you don’t already have your own anti-virus program and have your own pc, you need one. Two antivirus programs that are totally free for home use and are highly recommended are AVG Free and Avast Home Edition
Immi

“No life is so hard that you cannot make it easier by the way you take it”
Ellen Glasgow

References
Hattip to
Wikimedia Commons for the graphic.
Yahoo Tech, 
Best Antivirus Software for 2008,  sourced 11/4/08
Freebyte,
Freebyte’s Guide to Free Antivirus Software 2008, sourced 11/4/08

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You know, I often gabble about problems without making any mention of successes with them.  I tend to miss the successes mainly because I’m uncomfortable with praise internal or external and also successes don’t need fixing. But I’m actually proud of myself today for the way I handled a tough situation yesterday, and begone to any mental dust thrown up to tell me otherwise.  

I briefly mentioned hallucinating yesterday in my earlier post. My therapist and doctor both believe this is due to the slew of bronchitis meds on top of my regular cocktail of bipolar drugs.  Whatever caused it, I did hallucinate, and it scared the bejeezus out of me because I was behind the wheel of my car at the time. That’s never happened to me before. I handled it well, got home safe, no one got hurt, I’ve made arrangements to not drive until I’m off all these crazy-making sterioids and such, informed my support folks, made arrangements for someone to help with my business if needed, and I am proud of all that. I done good.

The biggest thing I’m proud of, though, is that my DBT skills held, even in the face of hallucinations.  OMG, is that something to be proud of or what?  Amen sistah, it sure is!

I was pacing around the front yard while waiting for my friend to take me to the therapist and doctor. I was getting out some of the anger energy about having to deal with that crap, and what went through my head?  Not the eternally repeating  worn out record of self-abuse that I’ve been so good at for so long. Instead, my self-talk went like this… I’m scared and angry about all this and I know I’ll be ok. It won’t do me in or ruin my life. I handled it well, and that is wonderful to be able to do when the brain is obviously kicking up some weird dust here.  I must look crazy as a loon pacing in a circle in the front yard with a cane. That’s ok even if that’s so. I need to walk out some of  these feelings instead of bottling it up, and I look however I look. I’ll never be able to drive again!  Nope, chicky. I’ll be able to drive again once this stuff gets straightened out and it will get straightened out. Yes, it feels freaky frightening and scary and sad and hopeless and shameful, but  it’s ok to feel that way. The feeling won’t last forever. It is darned well normal to feel frightened and all those things when you’ve been hallucinating while driving.  You got home safe, no one got hurt, and you’ve handled it fantastic, babe. You did really well with a cruddy situation. You go girl! Dialectics and positive self-talk and mindfulness, amazing and wonderful.

So even when things are crap, there are still things to feel proud of myself for, and I can handle life well.  What a new concept for me.  Yay for me!


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Seaneen is back!  It was the kindness of friends that got her to the hospital. And it was kind of her to post so we can see that she’s home and hanging in there. Kindness is all too often missing or undervalued.  I sure am glad Seaneen is home and ok. I don’t want bipolar to get any of us.  Sending you hugs, S!



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Last week was depressing. Not because I’m nuts. Because depressing things were happening. Normal but still, as a friend said, “A whole load of suck.”

So this week is featuring good things. Things that make me smile and laugh. Maybe I should call it “A whole load of cheer.”

Sugar and Sweets blog

Sugar and Sweets blog

The first fun thing is one I found today. Sugar and Sweets: Find something craveworthy. *drool* I do love sweets. I was born with a huge sweet tooth. Must have given my mother hell, but it’s never fallen out since. I had fun on this blog. I actually sat here and looked at the entire thing page by page. And drooled. Got to be cheery about sweets. MMMMMMMMmmmmmm.


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12 years, 11 months and 5 days of being clean and sober

Some days it’s boring as hell. Some days it’s painful. Some day’s it’s great. Some day’s I’m proud of myself. Huh. Must be real life.

But at least I know it’s MINE and not some drug induced alcoholic blur I’ve dreamed up.


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“We're all crazy and the only difference between patients and their therapists is the therapists haven't been caught yet.” ~~Max Walker
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