Posts Tagged “choice”

Oct 30 2008

More on blogging anonymously

Posted by Immi in hodgepodge, mental illness

Some folks who commented on my Blogging Anonymously post had additional great ideas about ways to blog anonymously. I just had to share them with you. 

Nathan Hawk offered the idea of using an anonymous proxy, which hides your IP address from sites you visit, blogs and otherwise. “Another layer of security is to get an anonymous proxy account. There are lots of free services run by the Open Source community and other Internet tech do-gooders, where you can get a proxy setting added to your Internet connection that makes it so not even the people who run websites can figure out where or who you are. I have never used those services, because I don’t worry about my anonymity, so your mileage may vary.” I found a list of anonymous proxies here and here, though I haven’t checked them.

Dano MacNammarah mentioned using a nom de plume. I am sort of shaking my head here, because I can hardly believe I missed that one.  *smax my forehead* If you run around using your own name, you’re not likely to blog very anonymously. Doh! Considering a good number of us are dealing with cogtnitive side effects from meds, it bears mentioning even though it may seem painfully obvious when our brains are not being gummed to death by a medication.

Border Life also mentioned something that never occurred to me because no one else uses my pc. “When borrowing or sharing a computer, make sure the previous person online was logged out of everything!”  Once I saw that, I thought  of the idea if borrowing or sharing a pc, you log out of everything when you’re done.  You might also want to clear the cache and history too.

Hope all that helps :)

PS. Stop by my new bipolar tips blog sometime?  Send your tips and resources too.


Babbled by Immi.


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Oct 28 2008

Blogging Anonymously

Posted by Immi in hodgepodge, mental illness

Sometimes us folks with mental illness want to blog anonymously, particularly about details of our illness or coping with it.  We can have really valid concerns about how blogging could potentially affect our ability to get work, or maybe allow abusers to track us down, or things along those lines.  It’s ok to be private online with anonymity. Here are some tips about how to help stay anonymous online especially with blogging.

  1. Get a second browser for your anonymous identity, and make that the only browser you ever use for anything to do with your anonymous blog.
    Never use it for anything but that anony-you, but ALWAYS use it for your anonymous blogging identity.  If you use normally Internet Explorer for your “regular” web surfing or blogging, then use another one for your anony-stuff. Never use that second browser for your “regular” stuff. By using different browsers consistently for your anony-stuff you’re less likely you’ll accidentally forget to sign out of something and blow your own cover, or to be figured out by at people you don’t wan to do so. Other browsers are FireFox , Safari, Opera, or Chrome, or another one. 
  2. Get a free email for your anony-you.
    You’ll need it to sign up for your anony-blog, and any services related to it. Never use it for anything but your anony-stuff, and always do use it for your anony-stuff. 
  3. Use different passwords for anything to do with anony-you stuff. That way you can’t accidentially log in to your “regular” blog or bloglines or whatever with the wrong password.
  4. Use a different blogging service for your anony-blog. 
    Some highly rated free blogging services are Blogger, Wordpress.com, and LiveJournal. I’ve heard good things about Multiply too, but don’t know much about it really.
  5. Keep your lips zipped about things that could blow your anonymity when blogging.
    This may seem like a no-brainer, but it can be easy to forget at times.  Things to keep in mind are…
    1. Don’t mention identifiable things in any detail: where you live unless it’s a large enough area it’s reasonable there could be a bunch of you with the same issues; real names of your or your friends or family; your work except in the vaguest of ways such as “I work for a bank”.
    2. Don’t put photos of yourself or anyone you know personally on your anony-blog.
    3. Be prepared to say “I’m not comfortable sharing that” when people ask about confidential information. People will ask, and keeping your privacy requires that you keep it too. 
Those are things you can do it make anonymity easier with less hassle. Keep in mind, though, that anonymity online is not perfect.  So don’t share anything that you truly can’t stand not to possibly out in public.




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Sep 22 2008

Choice, Meds, and Shrinks

Posted by Immi in bipolar, meds, mental illness

I guess I came across as defensive in my last post. Maybe I was. My introspection fails at times. The point in my head was that neither meds nor alternative treatments for mental illness are all bad, and information from both sides is good, I just get uncomfy about it sometimes. I was working to gel that in my head with that post, and cope with my discomfort over the anti-psych stuff. Defensive or not, I do believe that information from both sides is good. I sure did get interesting comments on the post about anti-meds and all, regardless.  Good ones. They made me think.

I am going to give a whack at summarizing the thoughts or problems folks who do or have used psychotropic meds have with them. First, folks seem to feel that meds is a personal choice. Psychiatrists who prescribe them know much about the drugs they prescribe, and/or don’t listen to the patients and acknowledge that they may actually know what’s going on with the meds they are taking. Those seem to be the biggies.

Amen to the personal choice. That’s why I advocating all the info being out there. I also advocate going and reading it. Many folks I’ve known just don’t bother getting information either on meds or anything else they try to help their illness. Choice isn’t a one way street, though.  At least I don’t think so.  It comes hand in hand with its partner Responsibility. If we don’t take the time to learn, it’s much harder to make anything work, and really hard to be responsible for ourselves to make choices that work. The information available about meds and alternative therapies is not perfect or comprehensive, but using what we have makes sense to me. It’s really hard to make an effective choice if we’re clueless.

I’m all about personal choice when one is able to make it. But sometimes when the bipolar or whatever is at its most rampant, we may not be able to make informed or effective or useful choices, and that can become a serious risk to both us and the folks around us. That’s the point where personal choice pretty much has to go out the window. If someone is manic and standing on the edge of the building so they can leap and fly to Oklahoma on their own power, that’s a pretty good sign that the disease is choosing for them, not their whole self. Or if they’re holding a 3 year old at gunpoint because paranoia has them believing that the 3 year old is plotting to kill them, again that seems to be the disease making the decision. Instances like this seem to be to be a pretty good times to insist they get help, and enforce it, even if meds and/or hospitalization is the only thing that will work to get them off that extreme edge.  I have no problem with that.  But once off that dangerous edge, I think personal choice comes back into play. The hard and scary part is figuring out when choice goes out the window for everyone’s good.  It’s pretty apparent that some people will make good or bad decisions for others based not on the person having dangerous trouble, but their own possible distorted personalities and beliefs.  So how the heck do we try to work with that?

My way around that is to acknowlege my responsibility for my well-being by making my own choice proactively. I’ve given my support folks, including my therapist, a list of signs that I’m out of control and asked them to please hospitalize me and or give me certain meds, if more than two of those things happen at once because that’s a sign that I’ve lost my grip. I told them flat out that I’d hate them at the time, but I’d get over it when I got away from the extreme problem. I’ve also outlined what meds Iprefer and ones I do not want to take unless all the others fail and I can’t be peeled from the walls any other way.  I know exactly what the criteria are and it’s my job to find a way to avoid losing my grip to that extent. If I can’t avoid losing my grip that much, I agree that I’d be safer in a hospital where I can’t do but so much damage to myself of anyone else, even though I truly hate and fear hospitalization.  Even when I’ve gotten hypomanic and they’re concerned about me going into clear mania, they wait for the criteria on the list.  I know what the danger signs are, and when I see them, I start using more skills I know help keep me balanced, asking for help, whatever, to try to stay away from those criteria.  Because we’re all working towards the same goals and with the same criteria, it’s worked well for me so far.   I know I may get clobbered by bipolar disorder at some point, but I also know what will be done about it, and at what point. Making my choice ahead of time, gives me a sense of control about it.

As for psychiatrists not knowing enough about the meds, that’s a bit more difficult.   I ask questions, specific, relevant  questions.  I start off with stuff like : “What are the most common side effects?”  or “How long does it take most people to see a difference when taking this med?” or “What benefits am I likely to see from this?”  Then I can at least get the best out of what knowledge they do have.   Some shrinks will always know more than others, though. So after I talk to my psychiatrist and have the new scrip or meds in hand, I go learn about them more before I take them.  I read the whole PI sheet and then look things up at drugs.com or rxlist.com and crazymeds.us, to get a more complete, view.  That way, before I ever stick them in my mouth, I have some idea of the meds, regardless of whether the psychiatrist is well informed or not.  If I find something that alarms me, I have the option of calling the psychiatrist to discuss it, learning more about the medication, or just risking it anyway.  Since I can’t do anything at all about who and how the psychiatrist is, I see it as my responsibility to gather information for myself so I can make the best choice possible for me.

The other biggie is psychiatrists acting like we folks who take these meds can’t know anything about what they’re doing to us.  Well, to hell with that.  But it’s going to happen, and we can bitch about it or try to do something about it.  They seem to do it less, in my experience, when I act calmly, informed about the meds, and responsible for my choices with them.  If I am going to refuse to take a medication or stop taking it, I’m going to have a reason, be honest about it, and back it up with all the information I can find.  I’m also going to ask for alternatives or present them with alternatives, and information about those.  

I got started with a list of meds I’d take, didn’t want to take, had taken, etc. with the psychiatrist who diagnosed me as bipolar. I’ve had 3 psychiatrists since then because of employee turnover at the clinic I go to, and each one has gotten a copy when I first go to see them.  Even the one who initially said, “You obviously worry about this too much.” chilled out when I told him I’d started it for a previous psychiatrist who recommended doing it. I keep it up monthly, and the shrink feels like I do know what I’m talking about. Imagine that!  The more relevant, specific info I have, the more they seem to trust that I have a clue.  And the times I’ve wanted to change a med or get rid of it, I am not confused about what the problem is, why it’s a problem, or how long it’s been happening. For instance, when I had severe hand tremors start up. That caused a huge problem with my work — I could neither type nor make my art that I live off selling.  With my little chart, I had all that info handy when I went in to get a change in meds.  He suggested I try cogentin to make the hand tremors stop since in every other way that particular med was doing well for me.  I agreed to try it, and did, but it made me so nauseous and somnolent that it didn’t work for me. Told him that, and he pulled me off the tremor-making meds, and then tried another.  Having good info, staying calm, and being willing to work with the doc made all the difference in the world.

Until we’ve tried calmly and reasonably to find a way to work with meds we’ve chosen to take and the psychiatrist prescribing them, we’ve probably sold ourselves short as far as the meds go.  At the least tried to dodge responsibility while still wanting a choice. If the doc is a complete ass who doesn’t know dick, and we can’t find a way to work with them, it’s probably best to find a new doc.  That’s almost impossible sometimes, granted.  It might be impossible.  If that’s the case we do the best we can with the load we’re given, and make the best choices we can.

I had to think a ton to write this stuff out.  Thanks to everyone who commented and helped me gel my thoughts on all this.  It’s very therapeutic for me.  There’s still more in my head, but it will have to wait until later.


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“We're all crazy and the only difference between patients and their therapists is the therapists haven't been caught yet.” ~~Max Walker
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