Never strike out in anger. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.

“don’t eat bursted beans” scottoman: I’ll send you some canned food Immi: yay! scottoman: I have some black beans and some corn. I’m not sure how old the cans are Immi: long as they haven’t swelled up and burst scottoman: haha Immi: well, it’s bad if they do that scottoman: I’ll make a note.. don’t eat bursted beans scottoman: got it For shur-eh-ly. [tags]rules [...]

from an email circulating around… Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Ever picked your nose in the car, for instance? Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the [...]

. ..of kinky drivers. “A Slovak driver who crashed into a bus shocked rescuers who found him unconscious and half naked with a vacuum pump on his penis.” I guess they didn’t give his name because he lived through it. With head injuries. But they didn’t say which head. I really must add this to the list of things [...]

More for the List of Things Not to Do Do not crawl under desk and hurt back. It’s bad. Trust me on this one. Updated List: 1) Do not put your hand in the garbage disposal 2) Do not kick the edges of desks, chairs, walls, doors, etc while barefoot. 3) Do not [...]

This is the story of a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer who…. No! Wait! Wrong Story! This is the story of The List of Things Not To Do. At least, it’s the introduction to it in its current form. mc: stuck a sterling wire in my eye last night, so been a weird day… ER [...]