When my moods are flopping around with the bipolar mood swing stuff, all the mindfulness or skills in the world won’t really make it better. I have been equating making things better with making things go away.  That may sound like a sort of obvious idea, but it’s new to me. Huh, a mental myth, go figure. I’m [...]

Tags: bipolar, c-ptsd, note to self

QOTD: “Art allows people a way to dream their way out of their struggle.” Russel Simmons I always wanted to be the kind of artist that does big, meaningful things. I don’t mean large in size, but large in concept and impact. I never seemed to be abel to pull it off, though. Even when I [...]

Tags: bipolar, bpd, c-ptsd, creativity, fear, hypomania, quote of the day

Weird bits of memories and flashbacks are coming at me the last couple of days.  It’s not the super heavy duty stuff that feels impossible to deal with. Just moderate stuff that just seems a bit difficult or weird.  I’m not sure why all this is coming out and about now. But it’s interesting, for [...]

Tags: c-ptsd, flashbacks, meds, my life, side-effects

… literally. Seaneen got me thinking with her The People That I have Loved post.  I love when folks make me think.  I can’t write about all of the instances, but I love being made to think, nonetheless. This one got me really thinking though, because I’m trying to sort out where I’ve been and “who [...]

Tags: bipolar, c-ptsd, manic, mental illness, my life

Trigger Warning I’m feeling better, so back to pondering. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be able to ponder today. Just imagine it, ok? I have some issues with diagnoses. Cutting or other self injury (SI) is one diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Along with repeated suicide attempts. Read the [...]

Tags: blog therapy, bloody annoying, diagnosis, frustration, mental illness

RANT WARNING Other stuff after the sorta foul-mouthed rant, but hey, a rant is a rant. Immi is cranky. Immi is sick to death of customers. Immi is especially sick to death of stupid customers who send stupid emails. I just need to be able to do very simple searches to view all that you have for [...]

Tags: anger, bloody annoying, c-ptsd, dim bulb, fear, frustration

I’ve always had a hell of a time with that.  Secrecy is what kept me abused for so long when I was a tot. Privacy had no meaning, really. My bedroom as a kid was private, except that my father ambled in to abuse me whenever he took the mind, and my mother ambled in [...]

Tags: abuse, addiction, healing, recovery