I thought the bs from that last PTSD attack had past. No. Not even at all. On the surface I’m ok, maybe a little down, but nothing to notice. Underneath I’m not ok. There’s no light I generate in the world. I can reflect still. But that’s all. My batteries feel dead. Oddly enough, I’m working every day, and getting things done. Confusing. But then again, most everything is at the moment. Only thing I can say for it all is I’m still clean and sober, the a/c is running, and my toenails are not ingrown. Must be more, but that’s all I can think of at the moment.
Babbled by Immi.
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All of those things are victories, Immi. Remember to be gentle with yourself and pat yourself on the back every so often.
Oh Immi, I know what that’s like, going through the motions and yet feeling like everything is going to fall over (internally). Can you take a break from work or is that one of the things keeping you upright at the moment? *hugs*
I know how difficult PTSD residue can be. Be proud of yourself for staying clean & sober.
Sounds like you’re riding out the bad weather, Immi. Give yourself lots of TLC.
Clean and sober with clean toenails and an ac sound like good accomplishments. Mine is a different situation but I can relate to the feeling of working and getting things done but having it all feel like autopilot. It’s rather unfufilling……hang in there I hope an upswing comes along soon.
I totally get that, Immi. If you can, try and think of little things to help recharge. that can help. Small, pleasant moments now and again. Something that lets the breath move again. Anything! *sending lots of care*
WC – I suppose so. Be gentle with myself… funny, that’s what the therapist always says
Svasti – Hey, it didn’t throw you in moderation this time. Yay! Took a break today. Really can’t afford to, but had to.
Sheri – For that I am proud
Laura – Riding itout as best I can. Not much other option LOL
Michelle – Upswing will come eventually. Thanks.
CK – Thanks. I’m working on it.
Immi,
Sorry that you are having such a struggle right now. It has already been said but just be easy on yourself. PTSD can be so exhausting and destabilizing.
Hugs,
Tamara