“There’s something that people who are mentally healthy have a very hard time accepting — which is that mental illness means that sometimes, parts of your ability to be in charge of all your own faculties, goes raspberry. It’s not simple and it’s not a matter of willpower or choice.” Nathan Hawks: theNthDoctor’s Dumped His Brain Again…: “My Diagnosis and Ultradian Cycling”
People just don’t get it sometimes. Even people who care about you and want to understand and help. People who have had mental health education and training. I find it just astounding when I see it in action.
Imagine me sitting across the living room from my mother. I’m explaining that because of my bipolar cycling and related things, to take care of myself well, I have to change my work dramatically. Yes, I can do art. No, I can’t do it when I have to run the business end by myself. She was almost desperate to tell me that I was mistaken, that bipolar disorder doesn’t affect my ability to handle things on a day to day basis.
“You’re not crazy. You can do your art business with no problem.”
“Ma, I’m not saying I’m crazy, but the fact is I can’t do my business without a problem. It’s not working for me. I can’t trust my brain to be there for me enough to make sure the administrative crap gets done every day.”
“But everyone’s like that. We all have bad days. You can just work on your good days.”
*sigh*
Round the mulberry bush we whirled. I found it frustrating. She has no problem with my having bipolar disorder except when she discovers it actually affects my life. Huh. Funny, I have no problem at all with it until it affects my life either. We’re on the same wavelength there.
Unfortunately, bipolar disorder does actually affect my life. I’m getting on board with working with and around that fact. It sort of blows my mind that the fact seems to be unfathomable to even those close to me. Especially when they’re the same folks reminding me to take good care of myself.
Babbled by Immi.
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My dad is like this; he just doesn’t get it either. I don’t blame him; he’s from that generation that typically doesn’t get it. I have to let go of trying to keep explaining things because it doesn’t matter.
Wandering Coyotes last blog post..B.C. government removed girl from mother with mental illness
WC – I think it’s probably pretty common. It’s commonly annoying too. At best.
Sometimes I think that people only acknowledge mental illness as a label. They don’t realize that it’s something that has a profound effect upon your life and causes limitations.
Lauras last blog post..Fall Is In Full Swing
Yah, it’s a tough one. Thank you for this. Who wants to accept that they are not in charge of their mental faculties? I struggle… It would be sooo nice to have those around us validate our reality. It doesn’t feel good to have it denied. Maybe she’s just really worried about how you can take care of yourself or trying to help you feel better? Regardless, it’s great that you’ve recognized the current impasse and your frustration. I think it’s pretty common, too. I have the same sorts of conversations with my family, and have had the same denial to those around me. It’s a tough concept to wrap your head around– such as how my friend can be so competent at work, involving finance, and her financial life at home is falling apart. It doesn’t make sense. And that precisely is the point. The brain is raspberry! And that means accepting the effects of the raspberry brain as one and the same as the raspberry. Denying the effects is in fact, denying the raspberry. Oh my, I’m going in circles! Stop tying, B, stop typing. Aieeeeeeeeeeee!!! Ok, back to– thanks for the post! How frustrating this must be
<BL
Border Lifes last blog post..Beliefs held by People With BPD
BL – Denial sure ain’t just a river in Egypt. *helps you off the merry go round* Yw for the post, though.
Laura – I think you may be right there. I wonder why that’s so.
the only one who gets it in real life is the cat. at least i think she does.
LOL Susan, cats are good that way. Even if they don’t get it, they pretend like they do.
Ditto! Same here with my family, especially my father — the one who is always in control.
preciousrocks last blog post..Not Much Has Changed….
Hi
I just wanted to sat thank you for replying on my peace globe thing last week, but ended up staying here to wander about and read.
You said:
I found it frustrating. She has no problem with my having bipolar disorder except when she discovers it actually affects my life. Huh. Funny, I have no problem at all with it until it affects my life either. We’re on the same wavelength there.
ROFL
Not the same and yet your words echoed my own life too. In my case that quote fits the story of my physical health life. I was a sickly kid with allergies to everything… which annoyed everyone. Teachers, friends family… I just irritated and inconvenienced them all! (okay, in fairness not my parents, but otherwise pretty much everyone else) It’s taken me till I reached 40 to realise I don’t have to apologise for who/what I am constantly.
You have a very interesting blog. I read so many that i can’t swear I’ll get back here regularly, but I hope/want to.
Michelles last blog post..Brave Men – Brave Women
Michelle, thanks for stopping by! I’m sorry you’re having the same type of thing with the allergies. I know what you mean about getting back regularly, not a problem. Just come by when you can. Take care!