Mostly at myself.  At this crazy bipolar roller coaster, and at it’s best friend crazy meds roller coaster.   I’m feeling somewhat better today with the Lamictal than yesterday.  That means I’m only sort of drunk feeling, queasy, tired, can’t balance, and now am smelling non-existant pennies that I can’t get rid of.  This is better? [...]

Tags: bipolar, meds, side-effects

The weirdies from the increased Lamictal aren’t as bad tonight.  Not to say I’m feeling perky. But I don’t feel like I’m going to croak of it. I also don’t feel so much like someone snuck in and stole all the liquid from my body and dumped cement in my sinuses and ears. A vast [...]

Tags: bipolar, meds

… for a colorful metaphor. *bows and grovels to the gods of spell check who make it possible for me to blog* I have a list of like 20 things to do today. I don’t think they’ll get done.  I’m halfway hung over from the meds increase and halfway “stoned” still.  I feel like I have a [...]

Tags: bloody annoying, meds

I am whacked. Stoned. Something.  Per the plan the shrink and I came up wit, I stepped up to 200mg Lamictal tonight. (In 2 wks I start taking away the Trileptal.) That was around 9pm.  About 10:30, I stopped what I was doing because I realized everything looked funny and I had horrid dry mouth. [...]

Tags: meds

RANT WARNING Other stuff after the sorta foul-mouthed rant, but hey, a rant is a rant. Immi is cranky. Immi is sick to death of customers. Immi is especially sick to death of stupid customers who send stupid emails. I just need to be able to do very simple searches to view all that you have for [...]

Tags: anger, bloody annoying, c-ptsd, dim bulb, fear, frustration

9/27/08 through 10/4/08 is Banned Books Week and the start of that week is a good time for a break from spelunking in my past. I’m all for Banned Books Week. Yes, I read banned books.  Always have. And unless the right to read things is taken away from me, always will.  Of course, if the [...]

Tags: bloody annoying, freedom, responsibility

I’ve always had a hell of a time with that.  Secrecy is what kept me abused for so long when I was a tot. Privacy had no meaning, really. My bedroom as a kid was private, except that my father ambled in to abuse me whenever he took the mind, and my mother ambled in [...]

Tags: abuse, addiction, healing, recovery