Dr. Headshrinker asked if I write. “Constantly,” I answered. One place or another, I do. Lately I’ve been doing morning pages, journaling, whatever you may wish to call it. So I haven’t been writing here as much. I had stopped. But I had to go back to it. You see, I realized that when I stop doing that, [...]

I seldom have to put on an act on purpose. But I will if it’s me or them. Mostly I just am/act however I need to to get by. I have to act like a good business person, for instance. I have to act like I care that my insane “friend” might have something to [...]

I got this in an email from my father. I have reviewed the DSM IV criteria of borderline at the “BPD today” site. and I wonder which of the 9 criteria fit you according to you. We could talk about those things whenever you feel like it. Some of the things do not seem [...]

Mostly bipolar feels to me like doing drugs in the way that it’s so immediate and consuming and overwhelming. I can actually feel it coming, like a switch flipping in my head or something. Nevermind illegal drugs. I have a brain that should be illegal to operate without special training and a license. Mania. [...]

Looking over my 100 Things About Me from 2 years and 1 week ago, I see some things have changed. Others simply have not. Redux with current commentary. 1. I am STILL not actually a blonde. 2. I dyed my hair red for about 15 years. Yep, not having dyed it red in the last two years [...]

I Pretend To Be Myself Ouch. Right between the eyes.

contemplating the bdp diagnosis: i dripped a thousand tears down my face i drove about 2 hours around the interstates i bought 3 books on borderline personality disorder i read on the web about it i tweaked my blog to include it i copied the DBT pages DM let me borrow i sighed a lot i informed the rest of my immediate family i [...]