From a letter I wrote today:

“I’m doing ok more or less. Struggling some with meds. The stuff that helps the bipolar (trileptal currently) makes my mind just plain not as sharp. My memory seems to be bizarrely unreliable, which is probably due to the meds. I just can’t remember words and all sorts of things quite often, but they come back to me 10 minutes later. Or I can’t think logically for random bits of time that may last 5 minutes or half a day. All of that is normal enough for that whole class of meds, but it’s really frustrating. I feel like a really stupid idiot a good bit of the time, especially talking because it’s there that I have the worst trouble processing information. I don’t particularly like it. Well, I don’t like it at all, but I don’t know what to do about it other than just go through the meds gyrations and hope something works out eventually. I always thought it was odd that people with bipolar disorder stop taking their meds. Now I don’t. The side effects I’ve had from other stuff over the years was a cakewalk compared to this. This is like having your mind eaten from the inside out by hyenas gnawing at random.”

Yeah, that’s what it’s like. And the docs say, in essence, tough shit. *sigh*

This entry was posted on Monday, June 4th, 2007 at 9:26 am and is filed under bipolar. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.