Thirteen Reasons I Think My Therapist Is An Idiot

1. She claims that she can only go by what I tell her then proceeds to act on things she guesses about. And she’s bad at guessing.
2. She doesn’t return phone calls. Ever.
3. She doesn’t bother to call or have someone call for her when she isn’t in the office the day of my appointment.
4. She spent half of my last session telling me how horrible it was for her to have high blood pressure.
5. She only makes notes about things that are on her checklist of sanity: eating, sleeping, and homicidal or suicidal ideation. If I have no problems at the moment with any of these, she makes no notes.
6. She arranges for things without bothering to learn the details beforehand.
7. If I get upset in a session she tries to put me in the loony bin. If you can’t discuss upsetting things with your therapist what good is she?
8. She can’t remember what we discussed the week before.
9. She constantly changes her story: about what she thinks of my psychiatrist the meds lady, about me, about virtually everything.
10. She is late for every single appointment, even when she is in the office.
11. She answers her cell phone during appointments.
12. She tells me to lie about things. Eh? This is good mental health to choose to lie when telling the truth would work just as well?
13. She works for the government. Nuff said.

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